The ex wife of Nigerian musician 9ice took to her website yesterday to release the following piece with regards from the recent negative media attention Nigerian on air personality Toke Makinwa has been receiving.
Let me start by saying, we sometimes avoid those touchy subjects because we wish to avoid “drama” but Cyber Bullying is one concept it seems we are yet to get a full grasp on its consequences. Currently, in America there is a full campaign launched against bullying in general, where different celebs have been actively campaigning to stop bullying. We have seen cases of young ones committing suicide because they couldn’t handle the bullying. I pray and hope things don’t get this far in my motherland, although I suspect it may have and we just don’t document it as much.
For the sake of time, I will try not to over talk but a lot has to be said to make my point very clear so kindly excuse the long read, (I tend to do that when im passionate about something). I know a lot keep quiet to avoid backlash but hey, it is what it is.
I have seen it happen to celebrities and non celebrities alike, some notable names being Tonto Dikeh, Dbanj, and most especially Karen Igho, just to name a few.
Its like the general mentality has become, if you ever become the topic on certain blogs, get ready to either grow thick skin or have a mini heart attack. We are not all built the same so lets hope those who will still be victim, do the former.
This trend of Vicious, Nasty, Bitter comments can make your skin crawl. Yeah, nobody holy pass and I am certainly not an angel, we tease each other all the time, some of us even enjoy a bit of fashion police when we see things outright wrong but we should also know where to draw the line. I am sure we can all make our point without being outright wicked.
I have seen some comments about an outfit I wore to a concert on Bella Naija that made me laugh, like, these people got jokes for days. They were not what I would have liked to hear but they were also not wicked or cruel. but I digress!
They say as a celeb you are meant to have thick skin, but in the same token, as a human being we must all set good examples for those who look up to us. Imagine having a generation of people who see nothing wrong with hurting each other all in the name of fun.
I will make my case based on my observations about her blog or her (it gets confusing seeing as she approves the comments that make public view so if she wasn’t ok with it, we probably wouldn’t see it). You are probably asking yourself, as long as its not me being targeted, why should I be concerned? guess what, it is all of our business because God forbid what is being seen as “ok” now, may affect you someday.
They have even taken it several notches up and attack each other. Today, I saw tweets to the effect that Toke Makinwa was being attacked on a certain blog. One of the retweets took me to the source and my heart was like, something has to be said. If it changes something, fine. If it doesn’t, that’s fine too.
What I noted was that the past few days has seen blogger Linda hammer on and on about Toke’s Relationship breaking up, or posting a reference to being engaged for too long, or posting pictures of the babe calling it ”stunning” in her usual sarcastic style, and allowing her readers do the rest. When I mean “the rest” I am talking about the outright nasty, vicious, malicious comments posted about this lady from people who do not even know her.
Lets not forget some past commenters who would even claim to know the subject personally and proceed to post “personal” information about the person.. if they are lies, we do not know, but we still get to watch the defamation go on and all these are approved by the blog owner.
Toke may not say anything because she wishes to appear strong and non chalant, but damn, she isn’t made of steel and has blood in her veins and emotions like we all do. Last time I checked, most people that have been a victim of cyber bullying such as this are human too. Also, there is no age restriction on these blogs so your kids are reading and learning. To those who make these comments its “fun”, but when does fun turn into torment and emotional abuse?
In my opinion I feel she(Linda) put Toke under the “hate” radar simply because she(Toke) made a statement on her radio show that “Linda was not a role model”. Linda took it very personal because she took to her blog to post one long epistle about bla bla bla.
After that, its been Toke this, Toke that, knowing full well the type of readers she has and the type of comments it will generate (its like the same ol thing, different person).. ahh ahhh. If Toke doesn’t see Linda as a role mode, She(Toke) is entitled to her opinion and as long as she was not abusive when she said it, I see no harm in that. So why take it so personal to the point of being vindictive?
Like I said, this trend did not start today, its been ongoing and has easily become what her blog is known for. Lets not get into the “Failed Model” comment from Tonto Dike that got Tonto 1st place “lets verbally bash her” position. At least Tonto can rest small as it seems Toke is the hot new “lets verbally bash her” in town.
From the little I know about her, Toke Makinwa is a sweet lady. She is friendly, funny and down to earth so it leaves me wondering, what all these people raining hurtful abuses about her stand to gain. Even if she is not all these things, if they don’t know her personally, what do they stand to gain? You want to know the answer? Absolutely NOTHING!. They comment, laugh, and move on. To them its entertainment but to the person who is being picked on, its not close to funny. When it becomes a family member, its not close to funny. If it is your child someday, it will not be close to funny.
I have had some deep discussions about this with a few big name celebrities and hopefully, as the years progress, something can be done to see a big reduction in cyber bullying. Lets aspire to love more and hate less.
sorry for the long post, if there are any typos or grammatical errors, sorry for that too. God Bless
Linda's bullying got so bad that many of her own reader's started begging her to stop posting about Toke;
Dear Linda, you seem somewhat vindictive to me. You must "punish" Toke Makinwa for the "role model" comment abi. This is what all this is about
Madam linda why are u catching trips with People's relationship misfortune. U should rather wish them well and pray to God for your own Man, than make Mockery of others. Abeg enough of this Toke, Maje And Longterm engagement gist; we have heard enough.
Am pretty sure u're referring to Toke. Forgive. her for saying u're a gossip, she might have been hurt cos some of d comments on ur blog is enough to make some celebs commit suicide. Too much hate for Toke, sometimes I wonder why. We humans are so funny, we curse pple everyday forgetting that nobody is perfect. Engaged for 10years or not pls linda free her case and face urs so God can bless u with a good husband u wish for.
LEAVE THIS GIRL ALONE U PPL...DO U WANT HER TO HAVE A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN?? SHE IS CELEBRATING HER LIFE THE BETS WAY SHE KNOWS HOW...AND YET U GUYS WONT GIVE HER A BREAK!!! IMAGINE IF U ARE THE ONE RECEIVING THESE LASHINGS....MATTERS OF THE HEART ARE VERY TRICKY...AND EVERYONE NAVIGATES THEM THE BEST WAY THEY KNOW HOW...IF SHE LOVES TO SOCIALIZE HOW DOES THAT HURT ANYONE???
WHY DOES SHE ENGENDER SUCH HOT REACTIONS FROM EVERYONE??? HAS SHE HURT ANY OF U DIRECTLY??? AS FOR THE BLEACHING PART...HER SKIN SEEMS EVEN ALL OVER....IF U GUYS WANT TO TALK ABOUT BLEACHING WHAT ABOUT RITA DOMINIC WHO MORPHED FROM A BLACK LADY TO A LIGHT SKINNED LADY OVER NIGHT...WHATEVER ANYONE WANTS TO DO TO THEMSELVES IS THEIR PREROGATIVE....
THE ABUSES SHE'S GETTING APPEARS LIKE SHE MUST HAVE DONE SOMETHING REALLY EVIL??? OR IS THERE SOMETHING I DON'T KNOW? THAT U GUYS IN NIJA KNOW??? REGARDLESS EVERYONE SHOULD CHILL WITH THE INSULTS!!!! NOT VERY NICE!!!!
WHY DOES SHE ENGENDER SUCH HOT REACTIONS FROM EVERYONE??? HAS SHE HURT ANY OF U DIRECTLY??? AS FOR THE BLEACHING PART...HER SKIN SEEMS EVEN ALL OVER....IF U GUYS WANT TO TALK ABOUT BLEACHING WHAT ABOUT RITA DOMINIC WHO MORPHED FROM A BLACK LADY TO A LIGHT SKINNED LADY OVER NIGHT...WHATEVER ANYONE WANTS TO DO TO THEMSELVES IS THEIR PREROGATIVE....
THE ABUSES SHE'S GETTING APPEARS LIKE SHE MUST HAVE DONE SOMETHING REALLY EVIL??? OR IS THERE SOMETHING I DON'T KNOW? THAT U GUYS IN NIJA KNOW??? REGARDLESS EVERYONE SHOULD CHILL WITH THE INSULTS!!!! NOT VERY NICE!!!!
AGB said...I understand what you mean, but it's still wrong to just conclude Toke has got a her life in shambles. I bet you don't know her in real life. If you don't know her in real life,it's only ok for you to speculate but it's totally wrong of you to talk with all certainty. You're not God so you can't See all she's doing or going through in her life. Every single person on earth has his/her own issues.
El Maximilliano said...What's d agreement between fake accented Toke and Linda cos our eyes don tire to see dis old woman
This toke here! Toke there! Toke this! Toke that! Has tire me o! These are all publicity stunt. Before this blog I didn't even know there's someone wit d name. Linda pls stop choking us wit toke matter I beg of u. Eish!
Linda wetin be ur own na..any guy dey even text or call u at all....makinwa dis makinwa dat.abeg amebo of Africa mind ya mind business jor!!!.....#as for you makinwa na 2034 u go marry.continue wit ur mumu pride...stupid girl!!!!
To be honest I am glad that Toni Payne put herself in a vulnerable position to defend Toke. I really struggle to grasp what Toke has done so wrong that deserved the insults she constantly gets. To me it is purely bullying. If Toke was anyone's sister, daughter, best friend or partner, or wife, I would like to think that they too would be deeply affected by all the insults she handles on a daily basis.
Toke Makinwa did not think that Linda Ikeji was a role model, that should not give Linda the right to start a hate campaign to smear Toke's name, mock her long-term relationship and invite her blog audience to do so also. She is fully aware that Toke will read all that nonsense.
Worst still if Toke (God forbid) attempted to harm herself, it would be the same nuisance commentator's that would gather to say, ey ya..pele...it's so sad. People are wicked. I guess that is one of the deepest things I have learnt this year 2013.
-Chidinma
